maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
