She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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