ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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