i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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