In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
