Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
