then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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