dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hello my rib-scented angel!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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