It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
