I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I pour the whiskey from now on
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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