we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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