smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
