I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
