Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
