I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
