so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
we're so committed to being not committed
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
