Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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