well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
