I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Let's paint friendship bongs
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
