I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
