how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
