if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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