Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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