Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize