peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize