I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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