First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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