hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i out mim tonsoeep
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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