we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
