PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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