i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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