And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
