im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
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