I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it's like iHOP with fire
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
