I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
