So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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