I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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