i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
