I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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