he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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