Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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