Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
