so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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