You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
