How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
