New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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