There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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