Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My dick has a subreddit
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
