Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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