Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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