Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
