Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
