Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
