you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
