imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
