Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it wasn't lemon gatorade
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
