so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
