Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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