My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Two words: blizzard sex
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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