I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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